Damn Dirty Ape
7th April 2008 |
From: Chuckles | Date: 7th April 2008 | Subject: Damn Dirty Ape
So the police are going to be coming around to interview Miramfa at some point about whether she should be allowed to wield a shotgun. Does anyone have any advice about things I shouldn't say to them?
I was thinking something along the lines of "come and see the garden, we've just planted some body parts...I mean petunias". Can anyone think of anything better? |
From: The Mighty Reptile | Date: 7th April 2008 | Subject: Damn Dirty Ape
How about mouthing 'help me!' to them whenever Mitamfa isn't looking? |
From: Kenny | Date: 7th April 2008 | Subject: Damn Dirty Ape
How about having framed signed pictures of "going postal" style killers placed around the flat? |
From: MANT | Date: 7th April 2008 | Subject: Damn Dirty Ape
Natural Born Killers movie poster, Taxi Driver, Way of the Gun, all on display. You could have something like Rambo playing on the tv at the time, walk with a limp, refer to her gun as a shooter at all times, and ask if you are allowed to saw off the end of the gun to make it easier to use. Oh, and wear a balaclava at all times. |
From: Seffers | Date: 7th April 2008 | Subject: Damn Dirty Ape
Construct a shotgun stand with space for 20 or so guns immediately inside the front door. |
From: Kenny | Date: 7th April 2008 | Subject: Damn Dirty Ape
Stand behind her whilst the interview is taking placing, playing Resident Evil on the Wii. Everytime you shoot a zombie shout "Die! Die! you stupid mongrel [Whatever r@cial epiphet is most appropriate]". Try to spit as much as possible. Make sure to turn around and offer them tea in your best Winchester accent after a particularly bloody sequence. |
From: Kenny | Date: 7th April 2008 | Subject: Damn Dirty Ape
Oh, and on your way to make tea, toss the Wii remote to Miramfa and say "Your go killer." |
From: The Mighty Reptile | Date: 7th April 2008 | Subject: Damn Dirty Ape
Learn to strip it down and reassemble it in 30 seconds, demand that they watch you do it and then start twitching if they aren't suitably impressed. |
From: Seffers | Date: 7th April 2008 | Subject: Damn Dirty Ape
Put Full Metal Jacket on the TV then go sit in the bathroom with a broom in your mouth |
From: MANT | Date: 7th April 2008 | Subject: Damn Dirty Ape
If you have Jackie Brown on DVD, on the extras there's the "chicks with guns" movie they were wathcing during the movie, play that, but shout at the telly "Go Mims, Go" the whole time.
Or you could sellotape your fingers to look like a gun |
From: The Mighty Reptile | Date: 7th April 2008 | Subject: Damn Dirty Ape
Giggle conspiratorially when she tells them she wants the gun for game shooting. |
