Games

Archery

I'm not sure that this is actually a game, could be considered more of a sport i guess. Anyway, archery is fun cos you get to shoot things with arrows, although i've never actually tried it.

Around the World

This game is best played in a house that is not your own, and preferably where the owner has gone away for a while.
What you have to do is get around the edge of an entire room without touching the floor, but touching all the corners of the wall, by climbing on furniture or whatever esle is in the way. You aren;t however allowed to move stuff to help you, but have to get round the room as it is. The best way is to have a forefit if someone doesn't make it all the way round, like they have to suck dick or something.
One tip is to jump onto the door and use it as a swinging catapult to your next destination. Obviously this could result in broken stuff, like china dogs and antique chairs, but as long as you don't do it in your own house, who gives a fuck if anything gets broken.
Ideally it would be great if we could play this in a stately home, Hugh's house for instance could be good, but he's such a cunt he won't let us go there anymore.
MANT

Also, Hugh's house is so big, it would take about eighty days to play it - Charlie

Biscuit Game, The

Charlie and Rol used to play this at school, and one suspects that on special occasions at the CKGT, the old game is re-enacted with a posh biscuit, probably a plain chocolate hob nob.
In case you don't know this game, all the boys stand in a circle wanking. They have to come over a biscuit, and the last one to do so eats the biscuit.
So that's why Charlie is so fat and Rol so thin...

Book Game, The

A group of drunk people sit in the drawing room. One person finds a suitable book and returns to read out the blurb on the back to the rest of the game-players. Everyone else writes down what they think the first line of the book ought to be. The blurb-reader writes down the real first line. All the papers are taken in and shuffled. The blurb-reader reads all of them out, taking care not to make any obvious mistakes in interpreting other people's handwriting. Then everyone votes on which line is the real one.

British Bulldogs

Great game this was at school. You have one person who is "It" and all the other people run from one end of the playground to the other trying not to get touched by the other person. Once touched you join the catcher in the middle and then catch people yourself. The winner is the last person not caught.

This game was known to be very violent as some variations revolve around rugby tackling people, tripping them up, or lamping them in the face. We used to play in our yard at school which meant that you could quite easily get pushed into a buttress if you ran the wrong way.

Death Charades

Like normal charades, but is restricted to manners of dying.

Hat Game, The

Form two teams. Everyone writes as many names of famous people (or if you're playing the controversial Mitamfa rules, any word you want, there's considerably more scope for abuse with this version, but you'd be surprised how well it works). All the pieces of paper are folded and put in the eponymous "Hat". You need a timer. Each team takes it in turns to elect a speaker who has to get the rest of the team to say the name of the person / word. Anything goes, but you are obviously not allowed to say the name / word. Nor, and this is important are you allowed to directly rhyme it (so no saying "it rhymes with Bargaret Hatcher", but you could do "first name same as author of Handmaid's Tale with surname Atwood" or something). This is continued until all the names have been used up. It is then repeated with the same names, but the hook is that the speaker can only say ONE word per piece of paper, but because people have heard the names before, this should be possible. This continues until all the pieces of paper have been used up. Then it is all repeated again, but this time the speaker can only mime.

This game can take upwards of three hours, but when played well, is a thing of beauty.

Musical Chairs

I used to love this when I was a kid playing it at comedy discos at my primary school (Charlie/Rob/Hugh - that's a school for junior peasants, like a prep school but without the buggery).
I think we all know the rules, you play the "Chicken Song" and when it pauses you punch some pretty little pig-tailed girl in the face and sit on the chair she was about to sit on. The winner get's a lolly pop or some other shite present. Probably the first physical contact with the opposite sex that most of us ever had.
MANT

Naked Twister

Twister, but naked

Netball

Netball is basketball for girls, invented because they were shit at basketball. However, shortly after inventing this game it was discovered, by a man, that girls are shit at netball too. There have been many scientific studies of why they are shit and it has been widely accepted that this is beacause:

i) They can't throw
ii) They can't catch
iii) Their boobs get in the way

Recent experiments against a "Harriet-i've-only-got-grade-C-umpiring-certificate" XI versus a "Manly XI" have categorically proved that the girls can't play netball and can't beat a group of unfit blokes unskilled the netball ways. Not even Harriet flashing her silky pink pants at the boys could put us off our stride, although we did quite enjoy this bit of the game.

Go the BOYS!

Pin the Tail on the Donkey

I don't think i've ever actually played this, so not entirely sure what you have to do. I assum it's got something to do with pinning tails on donkeys, in which case i'm wondering why the donkey doesn't have a tail in the first place? Is it a mutant donkey? Or maybe it's a forgetful donkey who took off it's tail one day when it was a bit dirty, and left it by the sink in the bathroom when it went to work. Or perhaps it's a new breed of manx donkey.?
Anyway, it sounds like a shit game really, unless it's the donkey from Shrek in which case it's a racialist game and should be banned.
MANT

Sleeping Lions

This is yet another game that I used to play at school disco's at my primary school. The premise is that you run around aimlessly to music and then when it stops you have to lie down on the floor and not move a muscle. If you do then you are out of the game. The winner is the last person who remains lying down without moving.

In order to get people to move the teachers would go up to the children and blow in their ears or stamp near them to make them jump. I'm fairly sure this was child abuse, and I'm also sure there may have been some paedo kiddy fiddling going on by a few of the teachers too. It was quite a fun game to play, if you positioned yourself in the right place you could see up other girls' skirts, and even MANT at 10 knew this was a fun thing to do.

I think we should play this at the next house party.

Spin the Bottle

Spin the Bottle is a game that has been played by adolescents for 3,200 years, and it has been dated back to the Egyptian Pharaoh of King Snoggum IV when early versions of the game were played using a baby crocodile.

Nowdays the all you need for a game is a bottle, preferably Malibu, supermarket own brand vodka, or Bacardi. The game is best played with a group of pretty 17 year olds, (or it's even better to watch 17 year olds playing it, which is apparently what happened at the inaugural annual Burrage fireworks extravaganza in 2003). You all sit in a circle, one person spins the bottle, and whoever the neck of the bottle stops at the spinn-ee has to snog them. That's about it.

Can be combined with "Musical Chairs" (see entry above) for a wholly erotic experience.

Strip Poker

Poker, but you strip

Wink Murder

This is a very easy game to play as you don't need any props at all. Ideally play with 6 or more people as it makes it more fun.

What you do is use cards to pick out a murderer and a detective. Say the person with the King is the murderer and the Ace will be the detective, everyone else will be potential victims. Get someone to shuffle the cards and let everyone pick one. Keep the cards covered.

The person who is detective informs everyone that they are the detective. The murderer kills people by winking at them and the detective has to find out who the killer is by any means possible. At any point the detective can accuse anyone of being the murderer but if they are wrong they can expect a "Waaaaah" from everyone else.

When you are killed with a wink then die noisly and dramatically.

The game is over when the detective picks the right murderer. Re-deal the cards and keep playing until you get bored and feel the need to really kill someone.